Reasons to Write About Your Life or Your Family

That’s me, Lynette Benton

Can’t think of reasons why you should you invest the time or effort to write about your life or your family?

Here are just a few reasons to write down stories about your life or your family.

  • To create a record
  • To preserve memories
  • To protect personal and family history from being lost
  • To celebrate accomplishments
  • To educate others (Show others, including future generations, how you or your family overcame obstacles.)
  • To share your take on public events (Show the ways in which the stories behind the headlines affected you or your family.)
  • To share your perspective on family mores and myths. (All families have mores and myths.)
  • To show “how things were” in the past
  • To discover a new take on occurrences in your life. (You’ll be surprised how writing about your life or your family reveals new views of things you’ve taken for granted.)

Don’t know what to write about? These can help.

Supercharge Your Writing With These Ideas

Need resources? Check out the information at these links.

How to Write What Matters

Women Writing on Family

Must-Have Memoir Writing Aids

Another Must-Have Memoir Writing Aid

If I’ve convinced you that writing about your life or your family is worthwhile, but you don’t know how to get started, or continue, get in touch with me. If you’re not sure I can help you, take a look at my Testimonials, then use the Contact tab to tell me about your project.

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Memoirist Linda Joy Myers, Ph.D. Wears Many Hats: Part 1

For years, I have admired the work of Linda Joy Myers, prominent author, memoir writing instructor, and founder and president of the National Association of Memoir Writers. She now appears here to share her wisdom and experience with all of you who write and read memoir and family history.

– Lynette

Linda Joy Myers

 All my life, I’ve been a passionate reader of stories—they helped save me. When I write, I enter a creative space to discover and share stories I hope will offer a relatable experience for the reader. As a teacher, I look for the gold in the writers’ stories, and help them dig deep into their creativity, their memories, and their courage. It’s satisfying to help them rise from the archeological dig of memories with meaningful moments that offer wisdom to others.

Based on my passion for stories, I founded the National Association of Memoir Writers (NAMW) to be a place where memoir writers could gather and learn. I wanted them to get the support that I’d needed early in my writing career when there were relatively few memoir writers.

Writing My Memoirs

I learned how writing and creativity help to heal wounds of the heart through journaling, writing poetry, and doing art. The research done by Dr. James Pennebaker, a clinical psychologist, proved that writing the truth about our lives helps us heal physically and emotionally.

Click the cover image to learn more about this book.

I found intense relief in writing Don’t Call Me Mother—A Daughter’s Journey from Abandonment to Forgiveness, a memoir about three generations of mothers who abandoned their daughters. I ended the silence that often accompanies abuse, and my words offered testimony about the tragedy of loss and fragmentation. I began to see myself and our family story through new eyes.

But the characters, especially my mother and grandmother, were not through with me, and another theme emerged. Through the years, I’d gathered stories about the Great Plains, the pioneers, and our family history; in this new memoir, I wanted to capture the essence and power of the plains. Digging deep to find the hidden truths in my family story had a parallel in understanding the history of America, and how our stories can embrace larger universal truths.

In my new memoir, Song of the PlainsA Memoir of Family, Secrets, and SilenceI unearth the story of my mother that she could never tell, and I travel with my grandmother on ships in the 1930s to her beloved England, walking in their shoes and seeing the world through their eyes. I learned that the antidote to the pain of the past is to find our authentic voice, and reveal the truths we discover. We shape that raw material into a story. It’s transformative, and I find a great sense of peace from having written both books.

Don’t miss Part 2 of Linda Joy’s discussion of her extensive work in the memoir field.

Linda Joy Myers is president of the National Association of Memoir Writers, and author of the award winning memoir Don’t Call Me Mother—A Daughter’s Journey from Abandonment to Forgiveness, and two books on craft: The Power of Memoir, and Journey of Memoir.

Her new memoir, Song of the Plains, A Memoir of Family Secrets, and Silence, is about breaking generational patterns through art and self-expression, and how history holds the clue for compassion and forgiveness.

She’s a co-author with Brooke Warner of two books: Breaking Ground on Your Memoir and Magic of Memoir. Myers writes for the Huffington Post, and co-teaches the program Write Your Memoir in Six Months. She has been a therapist for nearly 40 years, where the power of story is part of the healing process. She has been a memoir coach for the last 20 years.

Advertisement Disclosure This website contains Amazon.com affiliate links. That means that Amazon.com purchases that originate on Tools and Tactics for Writers will help offset the expenses associated with this site. Your support is deeply appreciated!

Memoirist Linda Joy Myers, Ph.D. Wears Many Hats: Part 2

In Part 2 of this post by Linda Joy Myers, prominent author, memoir writing instructor, and founder and president of the National Association of Memoir Writers, she continues to describe her wide ranging work in the field of memoir, both for herself and other memoir writers.

– Lynette

 The National Association of Memoir Writers

Every month we offer a free event, the Roundtable Book Discussion, and two member events that provide craft, inspiration, and memoir writing skills. The presenters on our teleseminars are engaged in their own creative processes, and wrestle with the same questions and trials. No matter how experienced we are, each work we undertake asks something new of us, and we’re pressed to solve that problem. On these calls, writers talk with each other about their challenges, comforted by knowing they aren’t alone as they work on their book. We offer free eBooks, discounted courses, and 100 audios of past teleseminars, resources that help memoir writers succeed.

Brooke Warner and I created the Write Your Memoir in Six Months course because we saw how profoundly memoir writers needed support, accountability, and craft. We developed a time frame and a word count goal to help with motivation and deadlines, and a curriculum that covers all aspects of craft in memoir, from beginning idea to structure, scenes, the narrative arc, revision, and publishing. We include the psychology of memoir writing: family, truth, shame, silence, and the inner critic. We’ve had a great response, which tells us that we’re doing something right for memoir writers! It’s inspiring for me as a teacher to be brought into the lives of the writers and help them find their story and guide them toward making their dream of publication come true.

Memoir and Family History Writing Thrives

As the Baby Boomer generation gets older, the interest in memoir and family history grows stronger. Perhaps it’s because our generation began to question the world forty or fifty years ago, and we’re still trying to understand and make meaning from our experiences. Many of this generation of writers want their books to be a legacy of love to their family.

Click the cover image to learn more about this book.

Advice for Writing Your Story to Heal Past Injuries

Make a list of 10-15 significant moments, both the dark and light memories. Choose one of those moments, and start writing. Draw upon photos and other memorabilia to help you remember details. Re-read your journals for clues. If you’re writing about pain, write for no more than 20 minutes to protect yourself from sinking too deeply into the darkness. Remember that you are both a character in the story, and the narrator who understands everything from a later vantage point. These two “I” voices weave together to create a new perspective and layers of insight that were missing when you were younger. Each scene has the potential to shift your point of view and move you forward to a new understanding about your life.

Check out Part 1 of Linda Joy’s discussion of her extensive work in the memoir field.

Linda Joy Myers is president of the National Association of Memoir Writers, and author of the award winning memoir Don’t Call Me Mother—A Daughter’s Journey from Abandonment to Forgiveness, and two books on craft: The Power of Memoir, and Journey of Memoir.

Her new memoir, Song of the Plains, A Memoir of Family Secrets, and Silence, is about breaking generational patterns through art and self-expression, and how history holds the clue for compassion and forgiveness.

She’s a co-author with Brooke Warner of two books: Breaking Ground on Your Memoir and Magic of Memoir. Myers writes for the Huffington Post, and co-teaches the program Write Your Memoir in Six Months. She has been a therapist for nearly 40 years, where the power of story is part of the healing process. She has been a memoir coach for the last 20 years.

Advertisement Disclosure This website contains Amazon.com affiliate links. That means that Amazon.com purchases that originate on Tools and Tactics for Writers will help offset the expenses associated with this site. Your support is deeply appreciated!

Examples of Boomers and Seniors Writing About Their Lives

As I’ve written in other posts here, I teach boomers and seniors (and others) to write stories from their lives. Our classes are moving, funny, exciting, suspenseful, and a whole lot of fun—and that describes the stories the students write.

When people tell me they have a pressing urge to write about their lives, but don’t know what to write about, I suggest they take a look at My Legacy is Simply This, a book of short essays by seniors living in various neighborhoods in Boston. The short essays were made possible by Grub Street, a prominent Boston writing institution, and the City of Boston. (Note: I have no affiliation with the publishers or writers of this book.)

No matter what age you are, these are stories you’ll enjoy, and what’s more, they can serve as examples for your own writing.

Among my favorites is the story of his dangerous career, recounted by William Boyle, a former fire fighter. As a young man, he helped quench the big Hotel Vendome fire, which killed nine Boston fire fighters, in 1972. Even after pulling dead coworkers out from the rubble, he still loved his work, especially because that day, he found his boyhood friend, alive in the debris.

Dorothy Parks is a woman who lives each day as if it were her last, as a result of the perils she faced in her travels, whether by train, ship, or air. Her essay is the funniest in the collection, as she recounts an absurd brush with death on an airplane with a wing on fire.

But most of those whose essays appear in the book write about ordinary aspects of their lives: their homes and hometowns, their children, their families, their careers.

If you’re looking for an engaging model for your own writing, consider reading this book. By the way, it’s one of five volumes sponsored by Grub Street and the City of Boston.

If you want to get the stories from your own life down on paper, I hope you’ll find the following posts helpful.

Writing Stories from Your Life
Supercharge Your Life Story with These Ideas
Teaching Creative Writing to Boomers and Seniors, Part 2

You don’t have to be a boomer or senior to join my Memoir Writing or my Writing Stories from Your Life classes. Just keep your eye on the Upcoming Teaching Events tab at the top of this page to see where and when I’ll be holding classes next.

Or, you can work with me privately, as many others have and do. Your choice. Just use the Contact tab at the top of this page to get in touch.

Advertisement Disclosure This website contains Amazon.com affiliate links. That means that Amazon.com purchases that originate on Tools and Tactics for Writers will help offset the expenses associated with this site. Your support is deeply appreciated!

Top 3 Reasons Baby Boomers and Seniors Put Off Writing About Their Lives

Are you among those who chide themselves for not doing anything about those anecdotes your friends keep telling you that you should write down? Or maybe it’s those personal memories you feel you ought to share with the world? Or, you might feel weighed down by a nagging desire to preserve the history of your family for future generations?

Well, if you keep procrastinating about writing your stories, you’re not alone. When I give talks about life story writing, I usually face a roomful of folks wearing guilty expressions.

I open with a question for those in attendance.

“What are the differences among biography, autobiography, memoir, genealogy, and life stories?” I ask.

Reason #1
The audience looks perplexed; some individuals shift uncomfortably in their chairs. Someone might murmur a tentative response, but actually, no one’s quite sure what the different terms mean.

“It’s easier to write about your life if you know your options,” I tell them.

(Here are some of the different types of life story writing.)

Reason #2
After I explain the differences, the most frequent remark I hear from the audience is: “How can I start getting my story down on paper? I’m not sure I even remember a lot of what I want to write about.”

Reason #3
And invariably, the next remark is a perfectly valid one: “I feel overwhelmed by the prospect of writing all this stuff down.”

Well, in upcoming posts, I’m going to give you some tricks to get you started on that biography, autobiography, memoir, family history, genealogy, short personal tribute, or story from your life. I’ll also tell you about fabulously helpful resources.

I hope you’ll check back so you can get the “I-should-be-writing-this-down” monkey off your back. If any questions have you stumped, just put them in comment below and I’ll be sure to address them. And you might want to subscribe to future posts so you’ll be notified by email when they are published.

In the meantime, take a look at some of my Family History posts.

Having trouble getting your writing off the ground? Check out my Testimonials, and get in touch with me. I can help you out.

I'd love to know the personal histories associated with this building on a Washington, DC corner

I’d love to know the personal histories associated with this building on a Washington, DC corner

Advertisement Disclosure This website contains Amazon.com affiliate links. That means that Amazon.com purchases that originate on Tools and Tactics for Writers will help offset the expenses associated with this site. Your support is deeply appreciated!

What Keeps Me From Writing? The Fire Within, Part 1

That's me—on a cool day

Sitting across from each other in her large, disordered office and wearing almost matching sleeveless dresses, the library director and I ignore the fact that my dress is clinging to my chest and my skin is glazed with perspiration. It’s a breezeless August day, and the air conditioning is on the fritz.

Moisture emerges from my hairline and meanders across my upper lip. The skin on my face is prickly, as if covered by a strange damp stubble. But I continue asking questions and the director answers them, for an article I’m writing for the local newspaper. We both act as if nothing untoward is happening. Actually, for me, this is not remarkable. By my calculations, I’m experiencing my fifteen thousandth hot flash.

Years earlier, when I first reported these steamy soakings to my doctor, she had peered over her glasses at me, then squinted at her computer.

“I promise they won’t remain beyond a few months,” she said in her slightly Slavic accent.

But my almost hourly drenchings persisted for four years, as I became increasingly frustrated by my body’s refusal to conform to the medical timetable.

Should I Take Drugs?
I held off requesting the medication that had freed so many women from this awful upper body heat because it seemed absurd to need drugs to regulate something as ordinary as body temperature.

But, my hot flashes had no intention of leaving without a fight. Eventually, sick of removing and donning my clothes a dozen times a day to cool off, I began hormone replacement therapy—“HRT” to those in the know.

Then medical researchers with nothing better to do than dash the hopes of middle-aged women discovered that the miracle drug could have dangerous effects. So, I stopped taking the meds two and a half years ago. My hot flashes returned, as frequent and intense as they were before I went on HRT.

“Dress in layers,” my husband said.

The difference between the perceived ambient temperature when I’m having a hot flash can feel like 40 or 50 degrees. I have stood hatless in blizzards, snow stinging my face, my down coat wide open, reveling in relief. I have lingered on my back porch in a thin tank top, when the thermostat beside me read 26 degrees. I’d probably be famous by now had I not had to interrupt my writing to strip off my clothes a dozen times a day.

If you’re a hot flash sufferer (or the husband of one), see What Keeps Me From Writing? The Fire Within, Part 2. Feel free to complain about your hot flashes.

Advertisement Disclosure This website contains Amazon.com affiliate links. That means that Amazon.com purchases that originate on Tools and Tactics for Writers will help offset the expenses associated with this site. Your support is deeply appreciated!